When I began my search for a job after graduate school, I began to apply for positions in international education; that was one of the reasons I looked into teaching abroad. I wanted to increase my experiences abroad and figured working abroad was a good way to achieve that goal. I looked into organizations that I knew would provide me with a good, and more importantly, a legitimate position. I knew that API would help me find a great placement, so I inquired about the experiential programs, and decided to teach in China.
Initially, I was very excited about the prospect of moving abroad to a new place and traveling and trying new things. That is one of the reasons I love to travel so much – I love meeting new people, challenging myself, eating new foods, etc. Over the summer, I took a TEFL Certification course. I had some doubts about teaching, but I assumed these were normal feelings of anxiety because of the nature of what I was about to do. I was worried about being as effective teacher and about actually liking it. I was worried about moving there for a job that I was only planning on having for ten months and coming back to need to search for a new one.
When I left for China, I felt OK, but my anxiety grew, and shortly after my arrival, I realized my heart was not in it to teach here. There were some things going on back home with my family and I did not want to be 13 hours ahead and a 17-hour plane ride away if something happened. I first spoke with our school and organization’s representative about my feelings; she recommended I speak with the director of our program, who was going to be in Dalian in a few days. I sat down with our director and we spoke about my feelings and where I would possibly fit in with the school. From that conversation, we concluded that it would be best for me to leave China and head back to the States. I was able to negotiate a contract for one month, which would enable the organization to find a replacement teacher and give me time to figure out if leaving was in my best interest.
I realized from my teaching experience over the course of the month that I was no longer interested in teaching. I concluded that I liked the interactions I had with students and I enjoyed speaking with them and learning about Chinese culture, but not in a formal classroom setting as a teacher. This was probably one of the reasons I went into student affairs instead of teaching; I love working with college students to help them make meaning of their time in college and enjoy advising and counseling them one-on-one. I am glad that I spoke first with the organization abroad and was able to try teaching and give them time to find someone else, instead of just leaving them short a teacher and them not being able to provide their students with the classes they needed. I am grateful for my experience and all of the assistance the organization in China and API provided me, and the guidance they gave when I began to question my decision and ultimately leave my position.
Tomorrow is my last day of teaching here at DMU. While I know that I made the right decision to leave early, I am still a bit sad to say goodbye to this place. Every morning, I am able to see a beautiful view of the sea from my apartment balcony; it definitely made waking up for early classes easier.
Stephanie is teaching abroad with API in China.
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